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[totalize]

SYNTROFOS PROFILE

Username: mockingbird vivant
Name: Hugo Vlad Ravenlock
Age: 35
Hometown: New Eridu

I'd much rather hang out with all kinds of people than fight monsters I can't even talk to. After all, there is nothing more complex and interesting than "people" in this world. text / audio / video / action art credit code credit

Comments

[verminous]

Hugo, hey-

[he... thinks he can read what might be behind the tighter grip, the focused concern that slips into hugo's voice. after all-

there's been something like that in his own tone before, albeit more pleading, and he reflexively gives hugo's hand a small squeeze. still here. still fine.]

...you don't have to take the offer either, yeah? I mean, I don't know how easily I could promise something like that, it's... obviously dying isn't always up to me, but trust me, I'm not the type of guy who likes throwing his life down whenever he can.

[it still hurts. it's still death. not to mention that he knows dante feels it, whenever they rewind the clock... but even without that, even with dying being all a part of the job now, he's hardly eager to go through it when it happens.]

[totalize]

[ The concern in Gregor’s voice in that tighter grip are exactly the anchor they’re meant to be. The brief panic that Hugo feels quickly dissipates. Or, rather, he forcibly pushes it down. It’s practically a visible effort, since there’s a brief moment where he closes his eyes, but his expression is one of mild frustration. He’s strict with himself and his feelings, and it’s something that Gregor is sure to be getting a better sense of now. ]

…My apologies. I didn’t mean for that to come out so sharply.

[ His hand relaxes again. Before coming here, he probably would have pulled his hand away, but the thought doesn’t even occur to him now. ]

I appreciate the offer, truly. You’re trying to offer a solution to this wretched problem.

[ He pauses for a moment and huffs out a heavy, thoughtful sigh. There’s a practicality to it that he can’t deny, and maybe it’s perhaps the most moral way to handle his wretched diet. Gregor’s death that doesn’t quite stick could be better than the lives that Hugo absolutely takes. But the sigh doesn’t come from that kind of brutal calculus. It’s the callous truth of the matter. ]

I simply couldn’t do it. We may not have known each other long, but I do care about you.

[ It’s the matching, implied statement that’s the problem. He doesn’t care about them. ]

[verminous]

Well, maybe less of a solution than a sort of "break glass in case of emergency" situation, the glass being me... but I get it.

[he does. there's a line that exists, between the people you choose to know and care for-- and the people that you can't know out of pure pragmatism. you have to keep them firmly on the other side as a vaguely acknowledged enemy (or in this case, as food); it's the only way he was able to fight the war, to keep slicing through them, and it must be the same for hugo now.]

I'd be hard pressed to do it in your place, too. You... can't look down the barrel at someone you know the same way that you can with a stranger. Gotta keep yourself from being able to think too hard about it.

cw: suicidal ideation (but like the casual ""practical"" kind)

[totalize]

[ The way Gregor phrases it at least gets Hugo to huff out a laugh. He shakes his head, but at least he’s smiling again. ]

Then for many reasons, I’ll continue to pray that it never gets that bad. I can at least say that hunger doesn’t strike me nearly as often as it did before.

[ And thank goodness for that, honestly. The very thought of such an emergency already sends Hugo’s thoughts to a dark place, but if he had to “feed” more frequently? He doesn’t think he could bear it. He sighs, almost physically shaking off that dark train of thought. ]

I’m sorry to worry you. It’s… manageable, really.

[ It’s not the most convincing assurance, but it’s more because he just doesn’t enjoy what it means to manage it. While killing isn’t a new prospect for him, it’s never been something he’s relished in. The fact that his Soul clearly does is another little upsetting aspect of it. It’s something he wants to quickly move on from too. ]

And, goodness, doubly sorry to bring all of this up on today of all days! I should have saved a heartfelt, dire conversation for at least day three of you being my roommate, right~?

[verminous]

Maybe, but hey, it's been a good distraction from my own dire straits...?

[ah, yes. time for both of them to get right back to joking, surely everything is going to be completely fine forever.]

You're still gonna be stuck with me worrying about you though, sorry to say. Signed up for that when you imprinted with me.

[and the more they get to know each other, the more that worry comes from a place of care. gregor genuinely likes him, after all, so even if this is a problem he can't really help with... at least now he knows it's one that exists. something to be aware of, to not trip over and cause new problems later, to try to support him with.]

🎀

[totalize]

[ Hugo’s smile warms again, since he’s glad to return to the joking, but there is just the smallest hint of a little bit of bashfulness to it. For one, this isn’t exactly the kind of distraction he would have picked, and that’s a little embarrassing! But more importantly, it’s that playful, kind warning.

…Genuinely, he’s not used to people worrying about him. Before coming here and collecting imprints far more readily than he necessarily would like, he probably could have counted them all on a hand. He’s not exactly comfortable with the feeling, but also? ]

Mm, if you insist… But that goes for you too, you know. Even if it’s just your love life~.

[ He puts it lightly and teasingly, but that’s not actually what he means. Those serious subjects are things he’ll fret over, because he thinks the two of them are similar in matters like this. That helps him accept it more than he might otherwise. ]