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Hugo

I
I need help with a most embarrassing and shameful matter.
There are very few I would dare turn to for such a thing.
Though there are no doubts a perfect goddess could accomplish such a thing perfectly without any help...

I would rather be careful!

Of course, Ereshkigal. I understand preferring to be safe side~

[ But also. He may not have any idea what this is about but he can sure guess that it's probably something she genuinely does need help with... ]

What is it that you need help with?

I
I cannot speak of it on the network!
I wouldn't risk villains spying on our conversation.

Please come at the graveyard at your earliest convenience.

[ Oh? He'd thought this would be something charmingly awkward (and he's correct), so the fact that she's concerned about privacy is more serious to him... ]

Of course. I'll be there soon.

[ It's probably not an emergency, since he thinks she would have phrased it differently, but he's still concerned! So, he's quick to drop his framing project and head out to meet her. When he arrives, he realizes he probably should have asked for more detail on where, precisely, to meet her, but. It's quiet at this time of night, so she'll probably hear him, he hopes. ]

Ereshkigal?

[ He's stylish as ever in his light coat when he arrives, but that's not the most notable thing that Ereshkigal is likely to notice. Even though he's wearing his glamor, now both of his eyes are red. ]

[ Ereshkigal is tending to the graves when he comes. She steps inside and approaches him. He is very stylish and his eyes are very red indeed. He could be mistaken for a Sumerian god, what with how blonde he is. ]

Hugo... You came.

[ She very gently but hastily pushes him into her office, before proceeding to close every lock on the door (there are seven, that may be excessive but that makes her feel like she's in Kûr)! Then she turns back to him. ]

This-This is a very serious matter. I shall fully understand if you refuse to help me after hearing my words.

[ What could it possibly be?! ]

Of course. I— Ah?

[ He absolutely doesn’t mind as he’s ferried along to her office, but he’s only growing more and more concerned, especially with that many locks on the door. He can’t help but glance back at them incredulously as she locks them all, and he at least makes a note to help her with security if she’s that concerned about it. He’s a professional lockpick, so he would know best, but that’s definitely for later. ]

So I see. [ About it being serious, and he inclines his head lightly towards the door before he looks back to her. ] There’s very little I wouldn’t help you with, you know. What is it? Are you in trouble?

[ Alright, deep breathes. She can formulate her question calmly, in a manner befitting a goddess of her stature. Inhale, exhale... Inhale, exhale...

............................... ]

That's... I...

[ There is a silence. Clearly she has a hard time saying what it is she needs help with! ]

[ And suddenly: ]

I-I have been asked out on a date and-and— Oh dear, I have no idea how to go about it!?

[ Look at her, she's on the verge of tears and of a panic attack. The need for help is urgent! ]

[ He really is concerned, because of course it’s something serious if Ereshkigal went through all this trouble. He’s immediately afraid it’s something like Patho-Gen being after her or, hell, maybe Kelesis itself after her little underworld? He doesn’t know, and he doesn’t know how he could help, but there’s also no question that he would. Whatever she needs, Hugo wi…ll…

… ]

Huh?

[ He can’t help it. His confusion just slips out immediately, because… This is overkill? Right? ]

[ It takes a moment, but his brain catches up with him after the surprise. Yet, no, now that he thinks about it, it’s not a surprise from her, is it? He sighs in relief, but it’s quick to become a bright laugh as he puts a hand on his chest. ]

Ah, I’m not laughing at you, my dear! [ That reassurance is immediate, of course. ] I thought— Well, goodness, with all of the security, I thought you were in trouble!

[ Which, yes. She is. But this brand of trouble is nothing short of adorable, so his worry for her quickly becomes intense endearment instead. ]

[ Hugo is laughing at her.

Hugo is laughing at her. Of course he is! His reassurance doesn't even register in her anxiety-riddled mind. ]

I-I never should have accepted... What was I thinking? A perfect goddess going on a date, everyone will hate me even more than before...! [This is a disaster, he probably hates her already. Ishtar will never let her live this down. Honestly, how low did she fall to accept such a thing? I-It's so undignified!] Please forget y-you heard anything!

[ It’s a good thing that he’s an expert at dealing with this kind of flustered breakdown… Which is honestly even more endearing, but also? Just a little bit funny. He has to admit, Ereshkigal even has a leg up here compared to Vivian, since at least her anxiety is directed towards someone she actually knows rather than a mysterious internet celebrity!

He at least stops laughing as he steps closer to place his hands on her upper arms as if he’s steadying her. ]

Nonsense. It’s wonderful that you’re going on a date! The only person you have to consider at all is who you’re going with.

[ and if that person is ever mean to her than he’ll (redacted) ]

I’m sorry that I laughed, and that absolutely wasn’t at your date. I’m very excited for you! I’d love to help!

D-Do you really mean it?

[ His words are enough to bring her back to reality. Sniff. M-Maybe she overreacted just a bit. That's what she likes about Hugo, after all. She feels like she can absolutely be herself around him without fear of being judged. A-And right now, "herself" is a big mess of emotions! ]

It's so shocking, I-I absolutely wasn't expecting this! [She'll spare him the details of how she fainted twice after she was asked out. She doesn't need to look any more pathetic than she already is.] And my only experience with "dating" is what I read in human books.

[ Which is a good starting base, if she says so herself. B-But she also knows her books clearly aren't exactly the most realistic thing. Three years dwelling amongst humans have taught her as much! ]

Normally I-I would say... [She clears her throat.] "If this puny man cannot accept a perfect date from his goddess, then he is undeserving of my grace!" [She shakes her head.] B-But that's just an act! I have no idea how to make a perfect date...!

Of course, my dear~ I’m not shocked that you got asked on a date at all, in fact! I’m just glad they asked you properly, clearly…

[ …Because, admittedly. He can only imagine Ereshkigal saying yes if it were earnest and a little bit courtly. She’s such a romantic (and shut-in…) that she’d probably get upset about anything less, he bets.

It’s an idea that’s quickly proven correct, and he does a much better job of holding in his laughter this time. That one probably would be at her expense, a little, but also? She’s funnier than she realizes without meaning to be. ]

Well, I’ll be the first to admit that it’s been a long time since I’ve been on a date-date myself [ don’t ask what that means ereshkigal you’re not ready for that level of date knowledge yet, ] but I’m still sure I can help. There’s the old adage of “have fun and be yourself”, which is true, and I’ll say we’re getting there if you know to drop the act!

[ Okay, he has to chuckle at least a little bit. Even if he’d seen that Ereshkigal can in fact be a scary goddess, it still feels like that’s another person when she’s flustered and sniffling in front of him. ]

So, let me ask. What’s your idea of a good date? Not even a perfect one, and it can be from your books! That’s actually not a bad place to start at all.

[ Alright, he's willing to help her. Better put herself together. ]

My books... [She nods at him.] W-Well, a good date has to be thoroughly prepared... Whilst it is impossible to control the flow of events during the date, you can control yourself and how you present yourself during the date...!

[ She's not a control freak, she swears! Well, maybe just a little... But that's the anxiety speaking. ]

[ In fact, she should show him her preparations so far. But that may require some explaining first... ]

I have been working on making optimal usage of our glamour powers for how we present ourselves. [And she follows with a demonstration: she raises a finger, flowers appear to rain upon her, and lo: swaps from her usual Surface Attire to her Underworld attire! And then she does it again, switching to her Underworld (Cold) attire. And then to her Celebration Attire. And then to her Alter Attire. And finally back to her normal surface attire.] While I have physical versions of these clothes, there is an undeniable advantage to being capable of switching on the fly to be appropriately dressed for any occasion.

[ Proof that there are advantages to those natural souls! Better than wait for Chaldea to give her a new spiritron dress. ]

[ She does the gesture one more time, the flowers rain upon her one more time, and...

And lo! Her latest attire! ]

This... This is what I have prepared for the date so far. I plan to commission a physical version once the design is complete, of course.

[ What if the glamour faltered during the date?! She would never live it down. She summons her spear, glamoured to look like a parasol, and holds it above her head. ]

W-What do you think?

[ That she’s already put a lot of thought into it isn’t a surprise at all (that’s what he’s worried about, in fact), but he’s at least glad to hear that she understands that you can’t completely control how a date goes… He’d been a little concerned that would be step number one for this conversation, so this is good! Her expectations are at least somewhat realistic.

That she brings up the glamor is a more surprising, and he briefly worries that she’s self-conscious about her appearance! But thankfully, no. He’s quick to smile again when he realizes this is actually a fashion show, and he leans against the wall to watch. The flowers are an especially cute, especially magical girl-esque touch.

He’s already watching with open affection, but as her spear turns into a parasol, ah…

At times, he feels bad for mentally comparing her to Vivian so much, but they really are such similar people, down to even their choice of fashion and accessories. The parasol is really what does it, and though it doesn’t show on his face at all, he feels a sharp pang of melancholy. It’s ironic, because he’s the one it would apply to, but it’s the same kind of feeling as seeing something that reminds you of a person that died. ]

It’s beautiful. Red really suits you.

[ He’s warm and sincere, and there’s not a hint of that pang in his voice either. On the contrary, he’s all the more inclined to focus on her to push those feelings down. ]

Using a glamor to figure things out is clever too! I hadn’t thought about using it that way, but I’ll have to try that next time I’m feeling like a wardrobe update~.

[ Little does he know she is self-conscious about her appearance but mostly in relation to her sister. Twin sister, mind you. Nobody ever said anything about this goddess is logical. ]

Y-You really think so?

[ She put a lot of thoughts into finding something that's both casual yet retain elegance to it. So of course: she sparkles anew! And she's so excited, she's not even realized her parasol may have evoked some feelings of nostalgia in him.

She knew asking him for help was the right call. He'll never judge her, she knows as much by now. And he probably has dated more in his life than she's read romance novels, going by how flirty he can be!

Though seeing how he's alone... Maybe his advice may be counterproductive? No, she'll trust him! ]

But-But that's just the beginning. There is much more than just the clothes that goes into a successful date, right?

I do! It compliments your eyes, for one, and it’s also a very classic, elegant silhouette.

[ He nods like this is all obvious. Nevermind that he thinks Ereshkigal would look cute in just about anything she wears… But he would gently guide her to other options if her ideas didn’t suit a date. ]

Looking cute for your date is step one, yes, but then we get to the important part! The date! Do you have any ideas what you’re doing with them, or is that something you need to figure out too?

I-I have no idea...

[ Well, she does have ideas. But the truth is that in romances, date rarely tend to go smoothly. It happens sometimes of course and it's very sweet, but the best ones always involve some dramatic element. ]

In human books, something unexpected and drastic tends to happen in the most memorable of dates. [She sighs.] But I cannot count on a rival of his trying to kidnap me and thus forcing him to rescue me, or Father being suddenly summoned by Patho-Gen to forbid me from dating and take me back to the Underworld, thus forcing him to challenge my fate...

[ He may not get it, but that's super romantic. ]

[ He laughs warmly, since, ah, here is where her misconceptions come in… At least the content isn’t shocking just because he knows where it comes from. That’s exactly the kind of trope that happens in romance novels of a certain, um. Caliber. ]

Ha, no, the real thing isn’t ever that dramatic. Hopefully that doesn’t burst your bubble too badly~.

[ He’s playfully teasing just a little, since he does miss that this is something she’d actually be into… But also, it’s not exactly realistic, so. ]

There are lots of things you can do, though. Anything that gives you an opportunity to spend time together, talk, and have fun is really all you’d be looking for. So, something like a play isn’t great, since you’re focused on the performance, you know? But then there’s a reason that coffee or a nice restaurant are classics.

[ They’re things he could make recommendations for too, but he also doesn’t think they’re suitable options in this case. Spectral diets don’t exactly lend themselves to that, but more importantly? He’s completely sure that she’d be too nervous to eat and enjoy it even if that weren’t the case… ]

Though if you want something at least a little special… If you’d both be interested, you could have a pre-opening viewing of my art gallery. Art is a great conversation starter, even if you hate all of it! [ Which he doubts, but he laughs. ] And just the two of you, as well. I’ll make sure Heinrix and I are elsewhere so you can both enjoy it privately~.

[ Romance novels of the highest caliber, clearly.

But then he offers for them to come to his museum. T-This is so kind! It's a sort of controlled environment, this makes it so she can be better prepared, right? Yes, this way she'll have less ways to mess up and turn this date into a disaster! ]

Y-You would? That would certainly be better than a restaurant...

[ But then, he mentions all the other things expected during a date, and she feels herself shrinking. S-She's going to fail, isn't she? Maybe she should cancel... But no, she can't before having tried! Even if it fails, she needs to give it her all! ]

A conversation starter... T-That's right, conversing is a key aspect of dating. [Why?] W-Would it be too forward if I were to hold his hand while we're visiting? Y-Yes, of course! What am I even thinking...?

[ Her anxiety is rising to dangerous levels. ]

[ He nods, since it’s truly an easy thing for him to offer, and really, Ereshkigal isn’t even the first he’s offered it to… A quiet, empty art gallery is an ideal date setting for his more awkward friends. Plus, it’s intimate! Not that he would tell any of them that part of his plan, of course~.

But before he can say anything else, she’s working herself up again. Truly, he’s glad that he has the experience of Vivian being similarly anxious, since his advice before taking her in would have been much less helpful. Now, though? He smiles kindly as he reaches out to take one of her hands. It’s mostly to be a comforting gesture to help ground her, but also to quietly encourage her that holding hands isn’t that bad at all. ]

Of course I would. I think you would have a better time with something more laid-back. No need to worry about dinner etiquette, right?

[ He gives her a playful wink, because it’s very easy to imagine her going to a restaurant and then basically imploding from doubting herself about what to do that’s “proper”… ]

It’s okay to be nervous, but try not to think of it like a checklist, okay? Even if a date doesn’t go perfectly, it can still be a lot of fun. One of my favorite dates I’ve ever been on was a disaster in terms of what we'd planned.

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