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As much as I don't truly believe there will be a full schism in the ranks...I do think it's worth our time to keep an eye on things. In the end, they may try to silence our few supporters, and I would much rather have them on the outside with us and able to provide what information they can than to know they are gone.

[ It muddies the waters, of course. So many people in Karteria working for Patho-Gen means that they are bound to not only encounter heavy resistance in areas but also that they will need to be more discerning of who is the enemy and who is not. People looking for a better life and putting trust in an organization are not the same as those who blatantly hurt for the sake of raw data.

Mel hums a quiet note. ]

When we first arrived, I almost felt empathy for them. I can understand that if our world was in danger back home, would we not do anything and everything?

[ But there has to be a line and Patho-Gen has surely crossed it. ]

Anything you might need for your own protection as we move forward...please tell me. I know I'm not only asking you to take a risk but you and I know the stakes better than most. I don't wish to lose you as an ally so soon.

Agreed. Considering what they’ve done to some of our own, I have no doubts that if the dissenters became too inconvenient, they’d simply kill them. That’s what’s typical with my world, at least, and I see no reason to expect any difference here.

[ He shrugs, but it’s as his frown deepens. ]

…It’s almost funny, actually. My world is one that’s in as dire straights as this one. I’ve personally seen how those in power justify things that feel similar to what they seem to want to accomplish here. Soldiers who are cloned, others who are put into the shells of Intelligent Constructs—all things that are known and simply accepted as part of a cost for our continued existence. What other choice is there? That’s always the question, and I don’t have an answer for it either.

[ He understands it. It’s simply part of life in New Eridu, and while he’s stumbled across some secret details of those measures before, it’s not like he’d ever made an effort to stop them. It’s why he sighs, since it feels like more a personal failing now. But, still. It’s not the same. He looks to Mel more seriously now. ]

Yet, I’m not keen to be a martyr for their cause. That is where Silco and I agree.

[ The methods, perhaps not, but the resolve and the anger? Absolutely. The latter has only gotten more intense as of late, and the line between his own perception and what his Spectral Soul encourage is growing ever blurrier. ]

At the very least, I don’t think you have to worry too much about losing me, save for Patho-Gen interference that can’t be planned for anyways. I’m a Spectral, you see, so I’ve already died. I think I’m very much here to stay.

[ It’s a shame Hugo has no other answer despite having experienced much of this. She’s certain he would have at least shared what it was by now. Still, he has that understanding, and it’s one she leans on now. As Hugo looks her way, his expression somber, Mel’s gaze is steely. It never shows in her expression, too schooled for that. ]

Nor would I ask you or anyone else to give so much. No one should need to be sacrificed at the altar of our safety.

[ But that’s the expectation by the Karterians. Their struggle is now that of the Augmented’s by nature of their existence here. They are to be cannon fodder. It’s something she’s discussed at length with Silco: that there must be another reason for their presence, because finding Katalyth isn’t cutting it. There has to be something else, but she’d…hoped, perhaps naively, that the real reason wasn’t rampant experimentation or using them as scapegoats. In this, she supposes Silco was right again, even if she wishes that wasn’t the case. ]

If we start allowing martyrs, then we can make any justification as is necessary, and no one will be spared even between us. [ Mel sighs. ] Far be it for me to sound foolish but…I think we need to make fewer concessions, not more, because if we continue to compromise then we will lose everything.

It’s one thing to help the Karterians, to support their rebuilding, to support the health of this world. But what is being allowed…

[ There is something wrong with this city. She wishes she could say that if this occurred in Noxus, in Piltover, in Zaun, there would be a stronger outcry. But she knows how Piltover would react if Zaun’s people were harmed; it would be the same as here, with silence in the days following. ]

I don’t have a solution either. I wish I did. And I wish it didn’t involve people like you dying.

Well, when it comes to my death, I place the blame for that squarely on Patho-Gen.

[ He responds to that first, because ironically, that’s easy. He’ll always feel Takasugi’s teeth in his side and the heaviness of Silco’s water in his chest, but what had led to that at all? It’s easy to turn his ire towards the ones responsible for it in the first place. ]

I feel much the same for their plight at this point, so I hardly think it’s foolish. I may be sympathetic towards it, and I feel especially for the people who have no choice in our being here, but. It’s not as if we volunteered for this task and are having second thoughts. [ He huffs out a laugh as he shrugs. ] There’s a reason I never volunteered for any of the organizations dedicated to fighting against the Hollows. I’m just not the self-sacrificial sort~.

[ He might be light and joking in his tone, but the sentiment is sincere. Even if Patho-Gen had begged for his help, he would have refused. He’s not the heroic type. He never has been and he never will be. ]

…But, that said. If you happen to hear of anything that might be useful to end up in our hands, I might be able to assist. I did run an art gallery back home, that’s all perfectly true, but my much more lucrative profession is stealing from places like Patho-Gen.

I think that's the piece that rankles me the most. The people here surely understand we were brought here against our wills, and yet we're treated like animals and outsiders, but in the same breath they want us to believe we're saviors.

[ There's a kind of cognitive dissonance to it but one she still can't fully fathom and accept. It troubles her deeply because the wall feels too damn high to breach, and while several Karterians came to their aid when people were kidnapped... That it took them this long to think on it, to understand it, to truly realize the horror of it— ]

I understand their blind loyalty to Patho-Gen for their years of service. But we're missing something, I feel.

[ What other horrors have these people seen, where the sight of tortured Augmented is startling but not enough to cause open conflict or louder, more persistent concern. But to his comment, Mel turns over a few things. ]

...There was a man here months ago who broke in and got information. Chuuya is his name, though I haven't seen him around at all. Brickston tried to break in as well and was caught. But if you're looking for specific things, I have a name for you. I only ask that you keep the name from Silco.

[ Not that she thinks Silco will harm Momo, but she fears he'll use him, and she wants Momo's involvement in anything, especially after all he's suffered, to be a consensual one. ]

I will.

[ He agrees to those terms easily and without questioning why. It’s not exactly hard to guess in broad strokes, since Silco is a dangerous man. Whether that’s in ideology or straightforward violence, it doesn’t matter. Hugo understands why Mel would want to be careful in keeping people away from him.

That’s the easy part. The rest… ]

I worry that I know part of what we’re missing, and it’s all the more reason that having a safe settlement would be wise.

[ His expression is serious, but subtle though it may be, there’s a quiet anger underneath it. ]

Just so I don’t repeat information you might already know, did you see what was underneath Kelesis?

[ They're in lockstep on that piece. It's something that's been nagging at her for weeks now and even though a safe settlement will not prevent them from being controlled or brought back into the city... It's a start. And it's better than the alternative. She's about to give him the name when Hugo's expression changes, and hers does almost in an echo of his own.

There's a tip of her head in a nod. ]

I did. You did as well, obviously. [ Or he wouldn't be bringing it up. ] What they've done to those creatures, those who were likely people once...

[ It's vile. ]

That’s good, in a way. It’s not something where I’d want to be the bearer of very bad news, you know?

[ There’s half a joke in that, but he sighs as he shakes his head. The rest of this is serious. ]

While some [ most, ] were raiding Patho-Gen’s headquarters, I decided to head to Kelesis instead. I found Patho-Gen employees down there as well, though nothing useful on them other than the fact that they were there. That they’re aware.

[ It’s damning, to him. Between that and such a large portion of their own being taken away to be tortured, he doesn’t trust Patho-Gen at all. Even if there are good ones, does that matter? There’s enough that’s rotten that he’s inclined to be harsh and say no. But those are also thoughts he’d be more inclined to share with Silco than Mel. Even if he and Silco are rather aligned in their way of thinking, Hugo seeks a different public reputation than he does. ]

…And that’s where I worry that we’d very quickly lose public support. Perhaps the average person isn’t aware—I’d even say they certainly aren’t—but I think the purpose of those Terra were clear. I think we’re more fundamental to how this place survives than they’re letting on.

[ Mel is quiet for a time, gaze a thousand miles away and briefly unseeing. It's something she's been planning to do, to try to help those creatures, but she has no idea how to free them without exposing them to sunlight and causing them to frenzy. There's no telling how conscious they are, how sane, and that's the worst of it all. Anything they might try to do to help will just end up hurting them, and leaving them is worse. ]

Silco and I had a similar conversation some months ago before all of this was found. That our purpose can't just be for finding Katalyth. So whether we are reduced to food and servitude or something worse, it does not matter; they likely have little intention of fixing this world without us becoming the linchpins of their needs.

[ And so they should start considering what their relative Full Shifts can do and how that could benefit a society in any way, and that will likely give them a better answer. ]

I doubt the average person knows where their food is coming from. But those creatures, those people, are suffering. I'm certain Patho-Gen is hoping we can be substitutes in some fashion. Although... [ A pause. ] ...are you aware that there was a significant amount of Katalyth wherever they took the other Augmented?

[ Hugo patiently waits for her response as she mulls it over. He can guess what she’s thinking about, because he’d heard those pleads too. For him, that’s enough. For him, he’d killed every member of Patho-Gen that he and Silco had stumbled across while exploring that horrible place. Part of him had wanted to just leave them to their ironic fate of being nourishment for their grotesque “farm”, but he’d had a semblance of mercy himself, however harsh it might be.

By the time he left, he was ready to burn it all down. But that had also felt like a decision that should be left to someone else. He’d recognized his desire for vengeance wasn’t exactly rational. It’s been more present since the reality of their position here had become clearer. ]

I agree. I didn’t exactly believe their story myself when I arrived, but it seems like their intentions are far worse than I imagined. The sooner we can free ourselves from their shackles, the better. I think the same for those left below, though their recourse is…

[ He trails off, since putting it to words feels vile. But if she’s aware of what’s down there, she surely heard them too. It’s not subtle what he’s implying, but he sighs as he continues on. ]

I am. I wouldn’t call it lucky, exactly, but it’s at least something that we were able to talk to our fellows in that strange realm. [ Dream? He’s still not sure what to call it. ] So, it seems like they have no problem finding it themselves. I don’t really understand why they’d want to expose us to it, though. It’s not as if it’s safe for them if we’re fully Corrupted. It’s more dangerous, I’d venture.

It could also be the Katalyth we've been finding for them, stockpiled in their own facility. I don't know that any of us have seen them actually dispose of the substance.

[ She certainly hasn't stuck around to see someone remove it, and she could chide herself for such a thing now. If she had, she could at least say for certain if there was a technique involved or if they truly were getting rid of deposits. They do disappear so they must be removed, but being destroyed is another matter.

It makes her wonder if Katalyth can be destroyed at all. ]

That could be the case. But they've proven they can control us regardless. I would wager we should be more inclined to wonder why they haven't made attempts to control us when we've gotten out of hand in the city previously.

[ Not that she would wish it on Pom but he's told her of his reactions, of what happened between him, Gale, and Astarion. And while that did end with some kind of intervention... It just makes her think that Patho-Gen is more strategic about when they use such a thing, either to conceal the extent of their power or because they simply don't care about the ramifications. Data is data.

Mel hates that it's speculation. ]

It's also likely that the more they test us, the more they know what we can endure. It's not as if they are running out of worlds to pull from. If we die or fail... [ A pause. ] Hugo, one of the workers at their headquarters even said it didn't matter if we died; Patho-Gen would just 'revive' us.

Whether it's true or not, we are seen as expendable by a whole swath of the people here.

[ Hugo’s eyes widen, but then quickly narrow again into that same serious expression. ]

I… hadn’t considered that. That’s a possibility.

[ But why, he wonders. The Katalyth hurts the Augmented, but it’s not like it’s good for the locals either. His immediate, cynical guess would be a weapon, since that’s human nature, isn’t it? Anything that hurts others can be turned into a weapon. It’s why he thinks they might be meant as weapons too, since it’s not like he can see a “purpose” for Spectrals like he could Terra, however much he hates to think of any of them that way.

However, that thought fades away as Mel continues to explain. That revelation about their potential fates makes him clench his jaw as his mouth becomes a thin, stern line. ]

Revive us? They can do that?

[ He’s angry to hear that. It’s clear in his face, even if it’s cold and controlled. The fact that Spectrals have to go through death is bad enough, but the idea that any of them could go through it? He hates it. Hates Patho-Gen, because he thinks of all the kind people who truly shouldn’t have to experience something like that.

Claws in his side. Water in his lungs. Choking back to life. His scythe is absolutely meant to cut out the rotten people that cause such misfortune—

Those bitter, vengeful thoughts aren’t his. Not fully, and he realizes it in the same way he realizes that his glamor has faltered to show his unsettling, dark sclera, and the ghostly glow in his hair. He closes his eyes sharply as he breathes in an unnecessary breath through his nose. ]

—Apologies.

[ He opens his eyes again, and it’s all back to “normal”. He’s calm and controlled again, however much he’s forced it. ]

There’s a lot of work to do. That’s what I’m realizing.

[ Her tail twitches. She becomes aware of Hugo's sudden shift in demeanor only a few moments before he begins to change, and though they are mostly alone, the last thing she wants is for him to catch the attention of others. Even now as she can see him (the real him) ever so briefly, she can verify what her soul sight has caught only in glimpses. The long tip of one canine hooks into the corner of her lip. ]

Hugo.

[ It's gentle, far more so than she has been before. Her hand reaches out but doesn't make contact, letting it linger a few inches from his upper arm if he should need support. He doesn't need her help, though; he's back to normal quickly enough that she needn't have been worried.

(No, that's not quite right, is it? She hadn't been worried about him causing a scene. She was worried about his other soul slipping from his control and hurting him.)

With a frown, she shakes her head. ]

It's fine. It's... I find myself more and more furious these days too. [ Her gaze narrows as it glances outwards. ] There's so much work to be done.

[ And for all that people want to help... Hugo is right. Too many people are soft; too many people want to maintain complete peace. They won't be able to live with the difficult choices that will come from this. And as the Augmented are already struggling to get their feet back on the ground after what's occurred, to ask them to sacrifice more is too much. ]

Aha… How embarrassing~.

[ He plays off the lapse with a light-hearted laugh, and there’s even a little bit of color on his cheeks as he glances away. It’s true that it is embarrassing, so that flush is real, but he’s also severely underplaying the reaction itself. He’s always valued his self-control, and that’s true now more than ever here. There’s the practical concern, of course. He doesn’t want to lose his mind and attack others as he’d been attacked by Takasugi.

But also, painful as the irony may be, all things considered… He doesn’t want to be looked at as a monster. Not by his fellow Augmented, at least. Perhaps that’s inevitable, considering his vicious diet, but he’ll still keep it at bay as long as possible.

Idly, he reaches into his inner coat pocket to pull out a large coin. He doesn’t make a show of it, especially since he continues talking once he’s done it, but he starts to flip it over his knuckles. A nervous habit, perhaps. ]

…Though it’s oddly a relief to hear that it isn’t just me. Patho-Gen certainly provides no shortage of things to be furious about, especially as of late.

[ He sighs and shakes his head. ]

Well, I wouldn’t say we have our work cut out for us in the slightest, really… [ A bit cynical to start, but his voice warms as he continues. ] But I’ll still provide all my skills for it. I’ve become rather fond of the Augmented, so… Helping them is what seems right with this new life of mine.

[ The way Hugo says it snags on her conscience like a hook. Despite professing not to be any kind of martyr, he's still willing to put his safety and well being on the line to at least try and make a difference. A part of her knows she should be more skeptical of Hugo in some ways, as someone who is also imprinted with Silco. But he's given her no reason not to trust him, and when he speaks of truly caring for the Augmented...

She has to believe it. And she does think he means it too. ]

I'll let you know what opportunity there is once I've given it more thought. I want to be careful, as we said before, about who is doing what piece. There are many of us who are too tender-hearted to be asked to do the difficult work, just as there are some among us who I wish to remain wary of.

[ Frankly, she's not even speaking of Silco at this point, though he's...a problem on his own. No, she's speaking of two things: ]

An Augmented was helping Patho-Gen, subjecting themselves to experimentation. We may not be able to convince people not to ply their luck with our hosts but the more information we give them, the more opportunity we give them, the stronger they will be against us.

And there's the matter of this military option.

[ She's waiting to see on that. But she knows war; she knows what her mother would do. It's a box that, once opened, cannot be closed. Mel will be keeping her eye on Set and his work. ]

[ Hugo makes a little noise of agreement, since he doesn’t find any fault with her plan. He’d think about it the same way. Keeping peoples’ jobs specific was always important when he was planning his heists with Mockingbird, so he understands it well, if on a smaller scale. He does frown when she mentions someone volunteering for that process (idiot, he thinks), but he doesn’t end up criticizing that. ]

Right. Set’s project, correct? I’ve met him.

[ …Been attacked, bitten, and imprinted by him, more accurately, but that’s embarrassing. He really needs to imprint with someone in a normal circumstance. Whatever that actually means. ]

Personally, I don’t know if that’s a wise course of action, but I also can’t say I’d put it entirely off the table. It’s just a dangerous option. For everyone.

[ He may not know war, but he’s not stupid. His thoughts are very much aligned with hers, because he can easily imagine how Patho-Gen could decide that they’re more trouble than they’re worth if they turn to truly fighting against them. Hugo isn’t confident that Patho-Gen considers them valuable enough to not purge if the extreme option was needed. Yet, it’s that very thought that makes him think it’s probably worthwhile to keep as their own extreme option. ]

No, I— I agree with you. We can't dismiss anything out of turn but I would like very much to avoid it. Once we open up that option, there will be no going back.

[ Set had briefly assured her that these people would be willing to work, wanting to help and aid the Augmented, but she has no idea if they can be trusted or where their feelings fell on the side of Patho-Gen. It's inviting a fox into a chicken den: they may be docile at first but she cannot guarantee safety to anyone helping them if military presence is involved.

Despite saying all of that, though, she still looks uncomfortable with it. ]

It only takes one misstep for our path to disappear.

[ And there's no safety net. Patho-Gen and the government won't help them; the upper classes won't aid them. The support they have are from people with meager circumstances as well...and it is just as likely they will remove that help if it jeopardizes too much. ]

Thank goodness… I expected you’d understand, of course, but Set is…

[ He trails off with a twist of his expression. It’s not distaste, but it’s closer to exasperation. It’s at Set because he’s a difficult person, but it’s also at himself a bit, since he’s been considering reaching out to him anyways. Hearing this from Mel, he’s actually all the more certain that he should. He will, in fact, get more than he bargained for out of that, ]

I’ll just be polite and say that he’s a strong personality.

[ Which is putting it so lightly… ]

It's all right. You can call him a problem.

[ There's a wry twist to her lips. She doesn't actually mean the words; it's more to let Hugo feel more at ease, that whatever he actually knows about Set needn't be said if he's concerned. Strong personality does plenty of justice and fits with what little she was able to glean over the network. Someone potentially bullheaded and cocky, someone who does think that a strong military arm will be wise to have.

Someone not unlike her mother. Set may lean towards hubris or ambition (or both) but his type isn't so unknown to her. ]

My homeland is one of militaristic might. The people there enjoy bloodshed and we have several fighting arenas. Our soldiers are capable of one thing: conquering. So I am aware of the cost of war quite personally.

[ And how it robs from each and every person it touches. ]

[ He huffs out a laugh, since even that feels like putting it lightly… But he’s not interested in explaining it further, really. Much like the truth of how he imprinted with Silco, imprinting with Set was something that he feels a complicated shame over. It came from a violent need to survive, and that “curse” of his blood is something he’s been trying to soften from the day he left his family behind.

So, yes. A problem.

At least her further elaboration makes it easy to not dwell on the thought. His curiosity is immediately piqued. He understands what she means, and he can picture the sort of place that would be like, but it’s only in abstracts. He even imagines that his idea of war is quite different from hers, because for all of the military’s brutal repression of outlier groups, they still weren’t the kind that would participate in bloodsport. ]

No wonder you’re so wise when it comes to these matters, then… I certainly do, but I hope others take your concerns seriously.

[ He also feels like he understands the dynamics of her family a little more, knowing this. It’s still brutal and cruel, but it’s also different than his own. It’s why he’s curious. ]

This may be a trite question, so forgive me, but… Was it difficult to come from place like that? [ Though as soon as he asks it, he shakes his head and corrects himself. ] No, rather… Was it difficult to adjust, once you’d left?

I'd call it experience, not wisdom.

[ She's made plenty of mistakes, after all. Once considering weapons to protect and then abandoning such notions, only to see them created regardless of her concerns. But she's seen some of the darkest pieces of people, of people who only want for violence, and the people who struggle to free themselves from their conquerors. It's easy to feel as if such a thing can only occur under specific circumstances.

But many can be changed to want violence. Piltover calls for accountability against Jinx, when the Council has done plenty of violence on their own simply out of negligence and malice.

She considers his question. ]

Yes, but perhaps not for the reasons you think. Piltover's people are not like Noxus; they are softer, not prone to things like war. There is still violence, mostly between the Enforcers of Piltover and Zaun. But... [ How does she explain it? ] ...I never could shake the wariness. In Noxus, entire families can be targeted and killed by assassins. Parents and children will fight in wars of succession. You often can trust no one, not even your loved ones.

[ Gee, who does that sound like? ]

So while I understood Piltover to be gentler, less sharp, I did not get close to people. It was safer overall. But I do not have as much experience as others in terms of trust, warmth, unconditional regard. And I was treated as such, as someone whose family has power and legacy.

[ A novelty, someone with leverage, but not someone gentle enough to be approached, like she was a kind of wild animal meant to be viewed from afar. Mel can't blame them, however; the markings she wears have always been like a kind of armor, something beautiful to look at but meant to ward off those who would try to harm her, and it matched the stone around her heart. ]

My view is skewed because of it, you'll find. I look for danger, I weigh consequences, I speak in circles. I don't extend my hand so readily.

[ As she starts to answer, Hugo’s expression remains a bit drawn together and thoughtful, like he’s not sure if he’d asked the right question. It doesn’t take long for it to relax, though. Maybe his question wasn’t perfect, but her answer still cuts to what he’d wanted to know.

He’s never met people that he could relate to. Not really. It was never something he lamented either, because how cruel would that be? It’d be wishing for someone else to have lived a similarly difficult life, and he wouldn’t want that. It does feel a little embarrassing to make the comparison even so, because with what she’s said, he can easily imagine how much more brutal her life must have been compared to his. For all the Ravenlocks’ faults, they were simply one family, not a nation.

Still, though. ]

I understand. At least in some shades. The Ravenlock family would have fit in well in Noxus, from the sounds of it.

[ With a wry little smile, his continues to flip the coin over his knuckles until with an elegant twist, it disappears as a sleight of hand trick. It’s not for her to marvel at, clearly, since he draws no attention to it. It’s just an idle fancy, because the people he’d gotten close to once he left his family had taught him the trick. ]

…You’ve put it to words more elegantly than I knew how to ask. It’s that feeling of distance from others.

[ It’s what Jack had called the curse of his blood. He wonders if he’d feel the same way about Mel. ]

I’ve never met anyone else that understood it. It’s… [ He hesitates, since it’s vulnerable, but with a shrug and a casual huff of a laugh, he just continues. ] Well, it’s lonely. Uniquely so, I think.

[ Hearing that these Ravenlocks would likely enjoy Noxus brings a faint furrow to her brow. It does sound as if there’s no love lost, no real attachment. A part of her wishes to ask more but she lets it go for the moment, if only to respect his privacy. That thought is practically validated instantaneously as he brings up the very word she tries to avoid: loneliness. For so long, she was in denial of such a feeling, but it dogged her every step like a shadow. Without her brother, she felt adrift; banished by her mother, she felt shamed and abandoned. Now she has lost most everyone she has ever kept in her heart, and when it comes to Ambessa…

No. No, there’s nothing left of a mother there, only the ambition she wields as shield and sword. ]

It is.

[ Who is she to deny her own vulnerability when he has just shared his own? It would be cruel, and she is trying so very hard to be so calloused these days. ]

To be in a room with so many and to know you are surrounded by others and still alone…

[ It’s unique, as he said. It is protective and it is right to do in measure, but that makes it a loneliness of her own making. Would it have been better to befriend Cassandra or to speak more with Shoola? Or would that have just been one more thing to be carved into her heart, a cut that would run deeper now in their absence. ]

I have been…encouraged to act differently. To be open and vulnerable and kinder. [ The latter is easier. The rest are not. ] But then something like this happens and I am reminded that it is easy to lose everything.

[ The loss of her allies and Imprints made her restless, furious, afraid. If they’d died… She doesn’t know what she would do. Mel is not a woman of violence but she can feel the way it claws at her chest, that desire for retribution. ]

[ He smiles faintly, but it’s one of deep understanding, even if it’s understated. That loneliness is what he’s felt as an underpinning for the vast majority of his life. It’d been so present that it was actually shocking to have befriended Jack and Lycaon and find out that things didn’t have to be that way.

…It’s just too bad it hadn’t lasted. At least when he’d welcome back that protective loneliness a second time, it’d been his own choice, more or less. Better to keep people at arm’s length than to experience the betrayal of being cast aside. He found the loneliness of loss far worse than the dull hum of it when he simply refused to connect to others.

The irony isn’t lost on him in this moment. He knows he’s staring at that chance to connect with someone in the face. He’s even the one that brought it up, and she’d answered in kind. Yet. It’s that last part, isn’t it? ]

—It’s why Imprints are so troublesome. It’s really cheating the natural progression of openness and vulnerability, isn’t it~?

[ He’s airy as he laughs, but there’s a tiredness to it. He cares deeply for all of his Imprints. He hates that the connection exists. It’s a complicated, contradictory feeling that’s also dangerous. ]

That is… I can understand why people encourage that. It even comes from a place of kindness, I think. I just also find that the walls we erect aren’t out of an unkindness in turn.

[ It almost sounds like he’s gently giving advice in turn to ignore those words of encouragement, but it’s not that. He wouldn’t go that far, because it’s not that simple. It’s just a quiet understanding of the hesitation. ]

The Imprint is challenging in all of the ways that I hate.

[ When one has a singular friend for so many years in a dynamic that isn't equal, the process of forming even normal friendships is difficult. Taking that, tangling it, making her question whether any of her feelings or the feelings of others represents truth, and then adding in all of these extra emotions around people who claim to be her friend... It's maddening. So much of her life has already been thrown into question. Now she struggles to know her very sense of self.

She cants her head in a half-nod, agreeing, though she's turning over his words just the same. ]

That, too, is harder than it seems. As you said before, some people here are not cut out for this environment, and I mean that in the kindest way I can. [ She does, honestly. ] Some people give their heart and trust to easily. And others take advantage of that.

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totalize - 2025-12-17 19:58 (UTC) - Expand

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assuming this takes place prior to her helping out with Mercy Kill...

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